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Justine Farnsworth’s Diary: Letter to the Editor


SIR, I thought it would interest your readers to hear of my recent travels in the barren expanses of Tibet. Having decided to reach the forbidden city of Lhasa by yak, dressed up as a man – to avoid undue attention from the most uncouth of the region’s inhabitants – I set off from the exotic incense-swathed streets of Kathmandu, setting my course to the north.

I had attached to my service a young and able-bodied sherpa servant boy, who soon took a keen interest in the few copies of The Chap I had taken care of packing in my light travelling bag. Soon he was proficient in the art of waxing my moustache and helping me dress in a proper gentlemanly fashion, which ensured I was not discovered as we crossed deserted plains and encountered gruff but gentle nomads herding their cattle below frozen glaciers.

My young friend was especially helpful in the bandaging of my supple, firm breasts, which would have given my gender away without proper compression. I am attaching to this letter a picture of my excellent manservant holding a copy of your magazine atop a most treacherous Tibetan pass, from which most of the Himalayas can be beheld, looming in the unforgiving horizon.

Pemsi, a copy of The Chap magazine, and the Himalayas, at the top of the Friendship Highway

I trust you will be happy to know that I have taken this quite astounding pupil back to England, where I have ensured he is clothed in the latest Savile Row fashion, and where I keep on teaching him the manners befitting a British gentleman, as well as how to attend to me thoroughly during my hot scented baths.

JUSTINE “BILL” FARNSWORTH

LAMBETH, LONDON




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